“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.” – – W.H. Murray (Himalayan Explorer)
Today I am thinking about commitment, about going for what you want. I love that quote by W.H. Murray, even though as I think about it, I can only remember two examples of living up to it in my life.
The first time was before I married my wife. At age 19, I worked as a missionary for my church. During that time, I got an inside look at many people’s lives. I was also put into situations where I didn’t get to choose my living companions. I saw lots of examples of how people treated each other, both good and bad, and I got very clear on what I wanted my wife and my marriage to be like. In fact, I wrote it all down in a journal, and made columns titled: “She Must” and “She Must Not.” As horrible as that probably sounds, after 2 years, I had quite a list in both columns.
Fast forward a few years, and along came Kimmy. I had sort of forgotten about the lists. I was working and going to school full time, and getting married was not on my agenda. Kimmy and I started talking and going out, and before we knew it, we were engaged. One night I went back through my old journals, read my lists, and realized that Kimmy not only fit every single item, but she exceeded them in ways I had never thought of. She was perfect.
One silly example from my list was that I wanted someone who would be thoughtful and aware of my needs. My dad taught me that a gentleman always opens the door for his date. My car didn’t have automatic locks, so I normally would have had to walk back around to the driver’s side, unlock the door with my key, then get in. Well, Kimmy being the thoughtful person she is, would reach over and not only unlock the door, but would then pull the handle and push the door open for me. I had never had a date with someone like her! This month marks 14 years together. She is still the same, thoughtful and loving person, and still putting up with me.
The second time I sat down with a journal and got clear about life had to do with my career. I was working in a tiny cubicle, literally tied to my desk with a headset cable, and every second of my workday was watched and tracked. I would even clock in and out to go to the bathroom. No matter how hard you worked, they could always find something you were doing wrong, and the pay was not great either. I remember taking my paycheck up to my supervisor one day, and asking, “How am I supposed to live off this?” Her response was: “Lots of people do it.” I went back to my cubicle, sat down with a little notebook, and made 2 columns: “Must” and “Must Not.” I got absolutely clear on what I wanted and needed in a career, and less than a year later, I started working in the mortgage business. I have been incredibly blessed ever since to work in a field I love, and that fits exactly with my life goals.
They say that people with goals succeed because they know where they are going. It’s that simple. Challenge of the week: Be a person with goals.
Have a great day! If I can do anything for you, don’t hesitate to call.